Pyramid Scheme

I have recently moved to Austin, TX and I figured that it would be a wise choice to seek employment. Luckily I graduated college at the worst possible economic time since the Great Depression, so this makes job hunting much more of a challenge.

After days and days of searching craigslist and sending my resume to every possible employer, I get an email back from a 'marketing firm' called Austin Marketing Firm.
http://austinmarketingfirm.com
They tell me I am an ideal candidate and set up an interview time for later that week. At this point I become very nervous and excited because this is the only job interview I have been able to schedule and I am very quickly running out of money because I just put a deposit down for my lease.
The day of the interview arrives and I am prepared. I put on my suit and head over to my friend Christopher's house to print out my resume. He decides that since he got a new printer, that I need 30 copies of my resume and 30 copies of my references. I am prepared for anything they throw at me...or so I thought.

Hindsight is 20/20 and I should have seen the signs that this company was a complete joke from when I first walked into the building. Honestly, I was distracted by the incredibly hot secretary. The first clue should have been that they were doing interviews for this 'position' two at a time. That seemed odd to me and their response was that they were interviewing over 200 people. I didn't let any of this affect my determination. I really wanted this job because I thought it was legitimate.
I go into the interview and am paired up with some 35 year old ex cop/ bartender from Buffalo, New York. This is child's play. I destroy the interview and they inform us that if they want to schedule us for a follow up interview they will call us between 5-6. I flirt with the incredibly hot secretary before I leave just for good measure. I walked away feeling confident that I was about to be employed by legitimate marketing firm.

I go to my sisters apartment to wait for the phone call and sure enough, they want to schedule me for a second interview.

The next day arrives and it is time for my second interview. They have eliminated 170 people and have narrowed it down to the best 30 candidates. This means war. I am pulling no punches. I am fully committed to getting this job at all costs.
I put on my Brooks Brothers suit and look like a million bucks. There is no way they can't hire me.

I walk into the office and I see my competition. A couple of gel-heads and some girl that looks cute except she has tattoos all over her feet which does not complement her business shoes. Amateurs.
They call me into the back office to meet with the boss. He slowly starts to unravel all the lies and false information that his craiglist ad and website had previously stated. Austin Marketing Firm also is so busy that they have a two year waiting list. They are opening 3 new offices in Austin because of the enormous amount of growth in the past year and a half. They represent the Texas Rangers and many other Golf Resorts and Spa's.
LIES!!!! I would find this out later.

They tell me I am going to do some infield training with their 'best' marketing trainer to make sure I am a good candidate for the job. I am still under the impression that this company is legit but I am starting to have a sinking feeling with each moment that passes.
The guy that will be taking me under his wing and showing me the ropes is some burned out 30 year old guy that decided to buy the shirt and tie combination package at Wal-mart. He tells me we are going to be doing some 'direct' marketing and we have an 'event' scheduled for later that day.

This is where the downward spiral begins. It was at this point that I realized I was about to have another interesting life experience and I should prepare myself for just about anything.

We drive to the 'event' which happens to be a public middle school in the ghetto of Austin. Austin Marketing Firm isn't really the company, its actually a division of the pyramid scheme company Smart Circle. Our job is to sell discounted tickets to sporting events, car wash coupons, and spa packages to the teachers of this middle school while they are at work. So this means two grown men are wandering the halls of a school, wearing business suits, while trying to stop teachers that are also walking the halls with their classrooms of kids and try to get them to buy stuff from us.
It was the most hilarious adventure I have been on in quite a while. The guy that was training me was sooooo serious about his job. We walked the halls of that school and went into every room, library, computer lab, cafeteria, janitor closet that we could find.
In the 1 hour that I was there not one single person looked happy to see us.

What blows my mind is that a school allows two strangers to roam the halls of their school. There is something seriously wrong about that.

So at this point I realize that I have had my fun and its time for me to leave. My trainer starts quizzing me on different aspects of the company and I interrupt him and start laughing. I tell him this job is a joke and a scam. He tells me its not for everybody, to which I laughingly agree. He was a nice guy so I didn't make too much fun of him but I did let him know that Im leaving and he can find his own way back to the office if he wanted to stick around. This was his punishment for wasting my time and making me drive him there in the first place.